Part 28: Flooding Back

I tried to remember the last time that I felt really, completely happy; the last time I felt fulfilled. The only instance I can come up with is when I was in college, which is perhaps why I want to go back so badly. I've never before in my life felt so inspired and alive, except when I was surrounded by other intelligent, artistic, and like-minded people. It wasn't like it is now; we weren't "looking out for number one" or trying to compete for affections from our bosses. No, we worked together, helped each other grow, pirated CDs for one another. It was the best.

And at no other time in my life have I ever been OK with pulling an all-nighter to finish a project, because all-nighters at school meant that all of us art majors held a "party" in the art studio, complete with take-out food and blaring music. We helped each other stay awake. We critiqued each other's projects. I took it in; breathed it deep into my lungs and held it there for so long.

But now it's gone.

...

A friend of mine needed me to help him hang posters around town to promote his band's show, and I suggested we hang some at the university, since that's a cesspool of "too-cool" college kids ready and willing to drunkenly dance to anything that even remotely resembles music.

That was my first mistake.

As I stepped onto the college campus for the first time in 3 years, the scent of fragrant eucalyptus and night-blooming jasmine rushed onto my face with a coming breeze from the cool night. It hit like a brick; all the feelings, all the longing came pouring into my heart in an instant. Longing for school, and for companionship.