A good friend of mine recently got engaged, which has caused an uproar throughout my circle of friends - although I'm not sure why, since we're at the age now where everyone seems to be getting engaged.
Anyhow, despite the fact that everyone is getting engaged, I'm still the only person in our circle who is actually married and has been for a while. My girlfriends, as naive and romantic as they are, have a certain and untrue perception about how marriage will be, and refuse to listen to anything I have to say about it (even though, as a married person, I consider myself an expert).
"When I get married," they say, "I'm going to wear lingerie every night."
I laughed out loud when I heard that.
"I will! I can hardly wait to do it now!"
"No... you won't. Even if you manage to wear lingerie every night for the first several months, one day - ONE DAY - you'll get sick, or you'll be fat and pregnant, and I guarantee you won't want to put it on. So don't make that promise."
Uncomfortable silence.
"Besides," I said, breaking the tension, "lingerie isn't comfortable. Sweats, however, are."
I don't even mean to be so cynical... it just comes out sometimes. I truly do hope and pray that when my friends get married, they will feel loved and be in love and want sex every night. I hope that their lives do turn out to be heart-warming fairy tales and happily ever afters. I do.
I just know that for me, and from what I've heard from several people, it doesn't happen that way. And it frustrates me that there are still these myths floating around and that my own cynical, skeptical friends believe them; that women love lingerie and will prance around for their husbands for the rest of their lives, never feel fat or ugly, never get stretch marks, and their husbands are the perfect Ken dolls for their Barbie houses and cars.
Well, let me set the record straight. Allow me to dispel the myths.
Husbands are people, and people will let you down.
And it's damn hard to put on a lacy teddy when your heart isn't in it.
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3 comments:
Wow Nic, I wanted to laugh at the beginning of this, but couldn't help but feel like I knew how you felt in regards to your friends at the end. As much as I'd like to get married, and have those "special feelings", I'm cynical enough (read: realist) to know it's not the "happily ever after" we all wish it was. I do know some people who seem to genuinely be happy, but it's a rare thing in my opinion.
"Husbands are people, and people will let you down."
Wow. That cut deep.
please don't ever stop writing...i love it too much. i don't want you to publish this for fear that you'll not write anymore.
you're more and more captivating with each entry.
i love you.
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