Part 29: Too Dumb to Know the Difference.

Watch me rise up and leave all the ashes you made out of me,
When you said that we were wrong, life goes on, you blew me away.

I sink like a stone, I've lost my control.
I sink like a stone, I've lost all control.

-Embrace

---

"Let me pay for dinner," I said to Stacy as she reached for the check.

"Why?" She looked at me blankly.

"Because you dyed my hair for me today."

"But you bought the dye."

"I know, but you need to save money so that you can move," I contested.

"Um... but you need to save money, too."

"Yeah, well, I can always ask my parents for money. They'll always give it to me."

"And you'll owe them your life as a result," She mused.

"Oh, I've owed them that for a long time. Now they're after my soul. Especially since they paid for the wedding and now I'm getting a divorce." I grabbed the bill from the edge of the table, replaced her card with mine and handed it to our waiter as he passed.

"So. You've made up your mind, then?"

"I feel like I've had my mind made up for a long time," I sighed. "I just don't see the point... it's torturous to go through this any longer. I know it's not 'right' in the eyes of everyone around us, but... I don't care anymore. I have to get out, lest I take my shoelaces and fasten a noose for my neck." I said dryly.

"Well, that wouldn't be good."

"No."

Our waiter brought back our receipt and I signed it quickly and passed it back to him.

"Does this have anything to do with Noah?" She asked hesitantly.

Innocent question. But no, it didn't. It had been a few months since I had even thought about him. My life with Adam had just been too awful and all-consuming; just too miserable to bear. And maybe it was all my own invention, but quite frankly, I couldn't take it anymore. Life is only worth wasting on those who would waste theirs on you, right? I had felt completely and utterly neglected by Adam for the past year and a half, and that's aside from the fact that I just didn't love him. He was now just an annoying roommate. I was an idiot for marrying him, I'll admit, and I decided it was time I embraced my mistake and move on.

"How are your parents taking the news?"

"Well, my mom isn't taking it well at all. My dad is taking it a lot better than I thought he would. I mean, of course he's disappointed, but I'm his little girl, and he'd do anything for me, even if it meant letting me divorce though he didn't agree with it."

"Yeah. Your dad is pretty cute."

"I know. But ugh, my mom. She's really upset. She's been ignoring me for the past 2 days. She asked me what it would take for me to change my mind, and I told her I'd need a lobotomy. And you know what she said?" And in my best impression of my mom, which includes the full-blown Chinese accent, I mimicked, "Is that covered under your insurance?"

Stacy and I both started laughing hysterically, "My mom is hilarious, even when she's mad."

"Especially when she's mad." Stacy said, still laughing.

"I think the accent helps."

"Well, you know I'll still be here for you, no matter what. And so will Evans. We love you."

"I know."