Part 8: How to Fight Loneliness

How to fight loneliness: Smile all the time, shine your teeth 'til meaningless, and sharpen them with lies...
...That's how you fight loneliness; you laugh at every joke. Drag your blanket blindly, fill your heart with smoke.
And the first thing that you want will be the last thing you ever need. That's how you fight it.

Just smile all the time.

-Wilco

...

Valentine's Day snuck up rather quickly that year, and as the co-president of the Anti-Valentine's Day Coalition's Central Coast Chapter, it was my duty to hold the Anti-Valentine's Day Coalition Annual Anti-Valentine's Day Bash. In other words, a big party at my house. No dates allowed - you have to come by your loner, loser self. There was food, dancing, and a bunch of other singles really celebrating (or drowning in) their loneliness.

Plus, I made flyers.

Anyway, I needed to get my mind off of Noah. Ironically, on the morning of Valentine's Day, my friend Simon called.

"Hey, do you want to go to a fondu dinner party with me tonight?"

A dinner party on Valentine's Day? Was this supposed to be a date? If it was, I would be breaking every cardinal rule as the co-president of the Coalition. I might as well be blunt.

"Is this a date?" I asked.

"No, no, no - I mean, I need a date, but only because that's the rule of the party. Everyone is required to bring a date. But don't worry, it's not like that."

I wasn't sure if I should have been offended... After all, why wouldn't it be like "that?" I'm date-able, right? Man, this rejection stuff is hard.

Luckily for me, I'm too self-assured to take offense. So I agreed to go.

...

Simon picked me up promtly at 6:00PM. When I opened the door, he immediately presented me with a single long-stemmed red rose. I commented on how nice he looked in his suit-and-tie, and thanked him for the flower. He escorted me to his car, opened the passenger door for me, and even helped me in. When he started the motor, classical music started to play.

"Was this planned?" I teased.

"No... I always listen to classical music in my car." He smiled and winked, which made me laugh. I had almost forgotten what it was like to be romanced.

The dinner party was quite formal, and Simon was right - everyone had a date. The party was at his house, which was dim-lit with pink lights and decorated with red paper hearts. The square coffee table sat low to the ground, and on it was a gorgeous spread of breads, meats, and veggies, all surrounding a fondu pot filled with melted cheese. Around the coffee table were large floor pillows, where several of the party guests were already seated and talking. Before I had time to put my purse down, Simon had already poured me a glass of champagne and helped me find a seat on the floor.

I introduced myself to several of the people I didn't know, but most of them were already my friends (or at least acquaintences), one of them being Adam.

Adam and I had known eachother through mutual friends, and we had talked on several occasions at parties and get-togethers like this one. Knowing what a music snob I can be at times, Adam made it a point to ask me questions he already knew the answers to about bands he already knew I liked ("Was Ryan Adams in Whiskeytown before he started his solo thing?" "Yes..."). It was a little annoying, but the effort was cute.

...

I won't bore you too much with the details of my party; essentially, it was just a lot of lonely people dancing to a mix of good music, eating food, and chatting away in the dark. The important thing to note is that after everyone had gone home (around 2:00 AM), my friend Hendrik - a well-dressed blonde with hair in his eyes and a brain to boot - knocked on my door.

"Did I miss the party?"

"Well, the people are gone, but seeing as how I am the party... uh, well, you didn't miss much," I said with an exhausted grin. "Come in."

"I wanted to give you this." He held out a hand-made Valentine's Day card with a picture of a gray and pink unicorn glued on the cover, and in glitter puffy paint, he wrote the words "Nic, Be my Valentine. Love, Hendrik."

"This is amazing," I laughed.

"Yeah, I made it myself. Oh - and the paint is still wet. Be careful."

Hendrik and I plopped down on my couch and turned on Adult Swim on Cartoon Network. I was far too tired to chat, and I could tell that he was, too. After a while, Hendrik and I fell asleep with my head on his chest.

As if things couldn't be more ironic, that day I went from having zero valentines to two in one night.