Part 12: Alive, With Pleasure

Several weeks after I had heard the (tragic) news that Noah and Allison had begun to date, Noah showed up at my doorstep bearing in hand a mixtape he had made especially for me. He didn't stay long, but didn't leave without one of his infamous hugs that lasted, at the very least, 2 whole minutes and somehow managed to make the entire world disappear. I missed those hugs. As he held me close, I heard him mutter under his breath that I give the best hugs, and I held on just a little longer.

I needed to talk to Allison.

...

She met me at my house the following night after class. I was a nervous wreck, who was about to wreck the relationship of a friend. Well, potentially. The truth is, I wasn't even sure yet what I was going to say. What could I say? For all I knew, it was all in my head. But I was, even then, sure that Noah still felt something for me, and Allison deserved to know. She deserved to know that he still came to my house, still gave me gifts from the heart, still hugged me with more passion than I've ever known in a hug.

I really didn't know how to begin. I made awkward small-talk before abruptly diving right into it, and it all came pouring out without a thought.

"Allison, I'm not sure how much Noah has told you about our relationship, but I feel like you have a right to know. I can't define what we are... were... but it's been going on for a long time, and..."

"Nic -"

"...I like him. A lot. And no one knows. We flirt and cuddle and hold hands and... it's important to me that you know. I mean, I don't think anything would happen as long as you are dating, but this had been going on right up until you two started, and I really have no idea what's going on."

"Nic. It's fine. Noah and I went on a few dates and then decided that we would make better friends." My stomach did a sommersault and I almost choked. "I guess I realized I don't like him as much as I thought I did, after spending some real time with him, and I'm sure he feels the same. We're just too different."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My heart was dancing.

We hung out for the rest of the afternoon, which was easy once my worries had been put at ease. Why didn't I do this earlier? It felt so good to get it off my chest - finally - and to know that maybe I still had a chance. Maybe I was back in the game.